10 First Dance Do's & Don'ts

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Karlin & Kerstin, married at the World Forestry Center. Photo by Sam Gehrke Photography.

Newly engaged? Considering doing a first dance but not sure where to start? The prospect of dancing on your wedding day can feel intimidating - especially if you've never danced much before. But it doesn't have to be! With a little help from a pro you can have a dance so memorable that people will be talking about it for years to come. Check out this list of "10 First Dance Do's & Don'ts" we've compiled from our experience to help guide your way:


  1. DO choose a song that's special to you. Make sure it's something personal that takes you back to a time in your relationship when you were on cloud 9. It should put a smile on your face every time you hear it.
  2. DON'T panic if you start to hate your song. As any professional dancer will tell you, if you're practicing enough, your song will start to get old and you'll get tired of hearing it. Don't worry - that will all fade away when the moment hits during your first dance on your wedding day!
  3. DO think about your footwear. Consider ditching the heels for something easier to move in. Or if you're set on wearing heels, make sure you break them in before the big day. A lot of people like to "save" their shoes for their wedding day, but that can sometimes lead to a painful memory. Wear them around the house so you don't get them dirty but still get to break them in. And definitely wear them when practicing your dance.
  4. DON'T forget your posture. On your wedding day you want to feel like a million bucks. Keep that in mind during the dance. Hold your head high and remember to extend through your hands and toes. Stay light on your feet, even if you are breaking away from a traditional "slow dance" to do a more funky routine.
  5. DO think about the performance aspect. Your first dance is for you two, the newlyweds, but it's just as much for your guests too. They're there to see your LOVE on display. Put your nerves aside and get into the routine of smiling even while you're practicing. If you can get a small audience to watch your dance before the big day to test your nervousness and give you feedback, even better.
  6. DON'T stress about the details and worry if you mess up a step. If you are showing your love for each other through your movement, no one will even notice what your feet are doing! Just keep going and don't let your face show that you had a misstep and nobody will ever know.
  7. DO think about your dance matching your attire. If you decide to stay in your formal wedding attire, consider doing something simple and graceful like a waltz. If you want to do more complicated dips and lifts, you may want to think about changing into another outfit that's easier to move in for your reception. I'd say it's about 25/75 with couples who change outfits and those who don't. It's totally up to you and what feels 'right' to you.
  8. DON'T think about dance lessons as another chore on your wedding prep checklist. I've heard from couples time and time again that their dance lessons were one of the few moments during their wedding planning time where they were able to connect with one another and relax. Your dance lessons should be FUN and should be a time for you to remind one another of your deep love for each other.
  9. DO keep your dance short. Whether you're a professional dancer or a beginner, any dance over 3 minutes becomes a lot to memorize, and your audience might tune out too, as their attention span is usually pretty short. Leave them wanting more, and remember that a shorter dance will often lead to a cleaner performance, since it will take less time for you to perfect.
  10. DON'T let your dance or day be about anyone except the two of you. If you fell in love in Mexico, sipping on margaritas while you listened to Marc Anthony, consider doing a salsa for your first dance. If you both grew up loving hip hop and listening to OutKast, don't be afraid to throw on some shades and get down! Your first dance is about the two of you and your love story. The more true you are to what you love the more fun you'll have and that will shine through with every step you take!

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Christian & Dalia's First Dance, Cairo, Egypt.

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